The Meaning of Soul Ties(UNGODLY SOUL TIES)
A soul tie is a spiritual connection between our soul and that of another person. Soul ties are important to address in sex addiction because they can hold us back from achieving complete victory over our addiction.
There are good soul ties and unhealthy soul ties. Good soul ties are commonly created in marriage and healthy friendships (Malachi 2:15; Genesis 2:24, 1 Chronicles 12:17, Colossians 2:2). Bad soul ties are created through sinful relationships and/or activities. Examples of situations that could create bad soul ties:
Sex sin: Sex unites people physically, emotionally and spiritually. If we have sex with people other than our spouse, we create soul ties that cause all kinds of problems (spiritual confusion, emotional confusion, sex addiction, compulsivity, obsession, etc.). When we have a sexual experience, our brains produce dopamine, the same chemical that feeds a gambling addiction, your chocolate cravings and the junkie’s need for another fix. Dopamine is often described as the “feel good” chemical of the brain and it plays a major role in our lives (good and bad). You see, our bodies don’t care if its cocaine, a cupcake or a sexual experience – dopamine will be produced and it will bind us. This is why sometimes, our former boyfriends are like our drug of choice and why we cannot see ourselves without them. We are addicted to the high. We have created soul ties when we had these feel- good, intimate experiences with guys or ladies we weren’t married to. This is also why it literally hurt when we broke up.
Soul ties are like super glue. If you’ve had sexual encounters outside of marriage, either by choice or forced, there is likely a soul tie that needs to be dealt with otherwise you’ll forever be tortured with thoughts, feelings and even actions that are unwanted. I mention forced encounters because, although pleasure is not associated with abuse, our brains still produce chemical reactions and our soul can still be tied to someone who has abused us.
Looking at sex images, memories, objects and fetish things: These activities can establish a soul tie with an evil spirit. An example of this is found in Hosea 4:17 when Ephraim became joined with his idols. A tie may not be established in every instance, but it is certainly possible. Example objects: a favorite porn depiction, a garment worn by a former lover, pictures of former lovers, a cherished sexual memory.
Sexual abuse/molestation: This can result in soul ties between the perpetrator and the victim. If you have been involved in sexual abuse, please seek healing prayer and Christian counsel as you proceed in your journey to freedom.
“Unhealthy” relationships: Examples include relationships characterized by manipulation, guilt, emotional abuse, co-dependency, unnatural affection, envy and/or lust.
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE A BAD SOUL TIE:
Ask the Lord: Take a moment to ask God in prayer to show you if you have soul ties that need to be severed. If the Lord brings people to mind or you think there is a possibility of a soul tie, proceed to pray to cut the soul tie.
Look at the fruit: A way to determine the nature of a soul tie is to examine its fruit (Matthew 7:16-18). Good soul ties will bear good fruit; examples being love, blessing, fidelity, loyalty, honor, righteousness, etc. The overall effect of the good soul tie will be to strengthen our emotional wholeness and our walk with God. Bad soul ties will bear bad fruit, examples being hatred, resentment, curses, manipulation, anger, strife, jealousy, control, bitterness, etc. The overall effect of bad soul ties will be to hold us back from enjoying our relationship with God and to keep us in bondage to whatever we struggle with.
Here are examples of when it is important for you to break ungodly soul ties:
- If domination and intimidation cause you to fear for your safety, you must break ties with your abuser.
- If you are married, you must break ties with anyone who you’ve had sexual contact with in your past.
- If you are struggling with addiction, you must break ties with anyone who tempts you to stay in your unhealthy lifestyle. Some symptoms of lingering soul ties include.
- Someone whose voice you hear in your head
- Obsessive day-time thought about someone
- Dreaming or waking up at night thinking about someone on a regular basis
- Someone you think of or “see” in your mind when you are intimate with your spouse
- STEPS TO HEALING SOUL TIES
- First, we need to accept that there is a problem. Ask the Lord to show you who you have ungodly soul ties with. Make a list if you need to. Secondly, we need to confess and repent of our sins. This may involve finding a godly and trustworthy partner that you can confess to and who can help you walk through the process. It may be a church counselor, pastor or elder or a family member.
Next, we need to find forgiveness. We need to accept God’s forgiveness, we need to forgive ourselves and lastly, we need to forgive our former partners or abusers. Remember, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.”
- If gifts were given to you by the other person in connection with the sin or unholy relationship, such as rings, flowers, cards, bras, etc. I would get rid of them! Such things symbolize the ungodly relationship, and can hold a soul tie in place. If you are still friends or in a relationship (just now it’s no longer an ungodly relationship), like say a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, except you’ve repented of and forsaken the unholy practices you used to do in your relationship, then I don’t feel it is necessary to destroy all the gifts and things that you have been given. I would still encourage you to get rid of anything that symbolizes the ungodly practices in the relationship though, such as if a guy gives a girl a bra and panties with his initials on them during fornication. I wouldn’t encourage you to hang on to such things that symbolize sin or that are wrong to give each other before marriage. Things such as flowers and love letters given during adultery should be destroyed.
- Any rash vows or commitments made that played a part in forming the soul tie should be renounced and repented of, and broken in Jesus’ name. Even things like “I will love you forever” or “I could never love another man!” need to be renounced. They are spoken commitments that need to be undone verbally. As Proverbs 21:23 tells us, “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.” The tongue has the ability to bring the soul great troubles and bondage.
Break the soul tie in Jesus’ name! Do this verbally using your authority in Jesus. Example, “I now break and sever any ungodly soul ties formed between me and _________ as a result of ______________ (fornication, etc.) in Jesus’ name.”
WAKE UP CALL
We cannot rely on our strength alone. There is one who can help you break the attachments that are holding you back. God can help you break ungodly ties and be set free to become the person you were created to be.