What are Soul Ties? How do we get in them and how to get out?
A soul tie is a spiritual connection between our soul and that of another person. Soul ties are important to address because they can hold us back from achieving complete victory over our addictions.
There are healthy soul ties and unhealthy soul ties. Good soul ties are commonly created in marriage and healthy friendships (Malachi 2:15; Genesis 2:24, 1 Chronicles 12:17, Colossians 2:2).
Bad soul ties are made through sinful relationships and activities.
Below are examples of situations that could create unhealthy soul ties:
1.Sex outside of marriage: Sex unites people physically, emotionally, and spiritually. If we have sex with people other than our spouse, we create soul ties that cause all kinds of problems such as:
- spiritual confusion
- emotional confusion
- sex addiction
When we have a sexual experience, our brains produce dopamine. It’s the same chemical that feeds a gambling addiction, your chocolate cravings, and the junkie’s need for another fix.
Dopamine is often described as the “feel good” chemical of the brain, and it plays a significant role in our lives (good and bad). You see, our bodies don’t care if it’s cocaine, a cupcake, or a sexual experience – it will produce dopamine, and it will bind us.
Soul ties are like super glue. If you’ve had sexual encounters outside of marriage, either by choice or forced, there is likely a soul tie that needs to be dealt with; otherwise, you’ll forever be tortured with thoughts, feelings, and unwanted actions.
I mention forced encounters because, although pleasure is not associated with abuse, our brains still produce chemical reactions, and our soul can even be tied to someone who has abused us.
2.Fancizing over sex images, memories, objects, and fetish things: These activities can establish a soul tie with an evil spirit. An example of this is found in Hosea 4:17, when Ephraim became joined with his idols.
Consider the following objects:
- a favorite porn depiction
- a garment worn by a former lover
- pictures of former lovers
- a cherished sexual memory
3.Sexual abuse/molestation: This can result in soul ties between the perpetrator and the victim. If you have been involved in sexual abuse, please seek healing prayer and counsel to proceed in your journey to freedom.
4.”Unhealthy” relationships: Examples include :
- relationships characterized by manipulation
- emotional abuse
- unnatural affection
- envy and lust
How to know if you are in an bad soul tie:
- Ask the Lord: Take a moment to ask God in prayer to show you if you have soul ties that need to be severed. If the Lord brings people to mind, proceed to pray to cut the soul tie.
- Look at the fruit: A way to determine the nature of a soul tie is to examine its fruit (Matthew 7:16-18).Healthy soul tie’s overall effect will strengthen our emotional wholeness and our walk with God. The overall effect of sinful soul ties will hold us back from enjoying our relationship with God.
Below are some Characteristics of healthy and unhealthy soul ties
- being loving
- being a blessing
- showing fidelity
- being loyal
- having honor
- showing righteousness, etc.
- bitterness, etc.
Here are examples of when you need to break ungodly soul ties:
- If domination and intimidation cause you to fear for your safety
- If you are married, you must break ties with anyone with who you’ve had sexual contact within your past.
- If you are struggling with addiction
- Someone voice you hear in your head
- Obsessive day-time thought about someone.
- Dreaming or waking up at night thinking about someone regularly
- Someone you think of or “see” in your mind when you are intimate with your spouse.
Steps to getting out:
- First, we need to accept that there is a problem. Ask the Lord to show you who you have ungodly soul ties with. Make a list if you need to. Secondly, we need to confess and repent of our sins. This may involve finding a godly and trustworthy partner that you can admit to and who can help you walk through the process. It may be a church counselor, pastor or elder, or a family member.
- Next, we need to forgive. We need to accept God’s forgiveness, and we need to forgive ourselves and our former partners or abusers.
Remember, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.“
- If gifts were given to you by the other person connected with the sin or unholy relationship, such as rings, flowers, cards, etc., you should get rid of them! Such things symbolize the ungodly relationship and can hold a soul tie in place.
- Any rash vows or commitments made should be renounced and repented. Especially statements like “I will love you forever” or “I could never love another” are spoken promises that need to be undone verbally. As Proverbs 21:23 tells us, “Whoso keepeth his mouth, and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.” The tongue can bring the soul significant troubles and bondage.
- Confession Prayer
Father, I have offended you by entangling myself with evil people. I have walked with them and followed their advice, Lord, I’m sorry. Forgive me for straying from the path that you have set for me. Purify me with your blood and break off these wrong relationships. Whatever agreements I had with these people are null and void, in the name of Jesus Christ. Any soul ties formed between us are cut off by the blood of Jesus. I choose to cling on you alone and refuse to go back to these relationships. In Jesus’ name, I believe and pray, Amen.
We cannot rely on our strength alone. There is one who can help you break the attachments that are holding you back. God can help you break ungodly ties and be set free to become the person you were created to be.